Dear ISIS

Dear Isis:

 I believe General George Pershing was correct in how to handle radical Islamic followers. If you have a radical belief you have just given me another weapon to use against you. You love to talk about how you are going to attack America. I know you do not fear our government. Actually I think the only people who fear our government is Americans at home. We as Americans want to live in peace. But if you attack our homeland all bets are off and you will face the people rather than our weak government leaders.

You will not face a community organizer but pissed off Americans. That is something you do not understand. Americans have a long fuse but once that fuse is through there is total destruction for the enemy at the end of that fuse. Here is what you can expect should you be stupid enough to attack our homeland. We will cover our bladed weapons with bacon fat. We as Americans like bacon. We store the fat for cooking.

We have plenty of it. We will use it. We as Americans have lots of firearms. We pride ourselves on our firearms. Our liberal politicians have tried for years to rid us of our firearms just to keep facing brick walls. Our belief in our firearms is so strong that even many of our law enforcement officers have stated they will refuse any orders to remove our firearms. During World War II Japan, a great and powerful enemy, refused to attack America directly because they knew that ‘behind every blade of grass’ was going to be an armed American. Not only will you face the armed American but we will make sure that our bullets are coated with pork fat. We believe in taking care of our firearms.

We try to keep our firearms well-oiled and lubricated. This action of ours takes care of keeping our weapons well lubricated as well as messing up your idea of your 72 virgins. Even many of the Muslims in America do not believe in you and your actions. Many Muslims in America want to live in peace and see your ‘brand’ of Islam as an insult to their beliefs. America is a family. We squabble amongst ourselves but have no tolerance when outsiders try to attack us. We built this country on a belief in God, use of guns, and a great deal of guts to face and overcome unimaginable obstacles.

We do not fear you. You really screwed up by murdering our journalist. You have screwed up as you have slaughtered Christians around the world who simply want to live in peace. You really, repeat really, screwed up by your forcing children to become wives. We rather take a real soft spot for children. Other enemies in the past have used our feelings for children against us. You and your sick actions have just used our feelings to protect the children as one more reason to remove you from the face of the earth. America wants to live in peace. But America will fight like a cornered cougar when attacked. Like I said, you might have no reason to fear our liberal leadership who is trying to send things to committee to come up with an idea what to do against you. We will not send anything to committee. We will not care about political correctness. We will simply eliminate you. 

 Signed:
 A pissed off American